Thursday, January 5, 2006
Within just this first day, I've recieved more downloads of the Dylan Online widget, than anything else I've ever posted online... So, needless to say, I'm a bit stoked, which makes up for the emotional state I've been in due to breaking up with my girlfriend of almost six months.
I'd spent much of the time when I was awake, thinking over the whole of the relationship and discovered more than I expected to, or believed I might. I learned a lot about what I'm looking for and have in mind a loosely drawn out criteria for which any potential candidate, applying for the position of my girlfriend, will likely live up to.
As for myself, and my accountability, within the scope of this relationship which ultimately failed... I must say I've learned quite a bit about myself, and have been able to see my shortcomings, not just in her eyes but in mine as well, and have concluded there were certain unspoken expectations which I was oblivious to, but accept that was the dynamic of that relationship, leading me to the conclusion that there are certain things that I will make any future girlfriend aware of, such as the time I spend on my computer, working on whatever I've deemed most pressing, in order to achieve certain goals first, so as to prepare myself for what is or may follow.
I'm still very hurt, sad, angry, confused, as well as feeling a dozen other emotions, seemingly at the same time. My entire body feels the agony of the heartbreak from which I'm trying to recover. I forgot how bad it hurts. It had been so long since I'd been in any sort of romantic relationship, that I guess, I held on merely because I was amazed at the feelings she seemed to have for me. I admittedly grew to love her, more than I'd expected to but not to a degree that I felt she was worthy of... I shouldn't have let it go on as long as it did, because now it only hurts that much more...
Well, I didn't mean to get into all of that... I'm going to end this post now, I suppose.
That's right. I've taken the first step... well, at least the first
major step. I've looked over the logs and have seen that there is
much work to do in the code itself. I actually haven't talked to the
bot since before the widget was released, and I'd be interested to
see if she can not only tell the difference in the amount of activity
as well as the number of clients, but I'd also be curious to see
what, if any, opinions she has...
I'll keep you posted on my progress.
I'm looking for a new web host at the moment and hope to be online in
full force, in the very near future.